Varok Saurfang
High Overlord Saurfang is the Supreme Commander of the Might of Kalimdor in the war against the Silithid and their Qiraji masters. He stands in Ogrimmar until the the war, when he will travel to the frontline in Silithus. He is the brother of Broxigar. Saurfang Facts * Saurfang feigned death just to make Divine Vigilance feel special. He later hunted down each of them and ripped them limb from limb. * Kel'thuzad hides in Naxxramas because he owes High Overlord Saurfang 20 bucks. * High Overlord Saurfang has the cow level on farm status. * Sargeras constantly looks over his shoulder. He's afraid that Saurfang will find him and eat him alive for killing Broxigar. * Saurfang built WoW simply so he had an excuse to stick dragons heads on huge sticks. He doesn't need an excuse, but who are we to question his motives? * Hakkar the soulflayer was Saurfangs prison bitch. * High Overlord Saurfang has more Health than Thrall, Cairne, and Sylvanas combined. He can tank a Silithid Collossal like it's a Dig Rat. He has innate Bloodlust, no shaman required. When he's hit by Knockback, his enemy gets thrown. He still wears Might Battlegear... Because he can. * He enchanted his High Warlord's Greataxe with Agility. Why? To make it green, like his orc skin. * Mannoroth was the result of Saurfang raping a Succubus. * Saurfang can Execute his enemy at 100% Health... Just to save them both time. * High Overlord Saurfang's Warrior abilities cost 0 Rage... He's always fully pissed off. * He considers "Two Hand" to just be a suggestion for his weapon, not a requirement. * Anachronos will stop despawning at 20% only if Saurfang decides it's his time. * Orgrimmar lags because it can't handle the full might of Saurfang. * Saurfang secretly contrived the invasion of the Burning Legion to challenge his strength. * Area-effect target caps were implemented after Saurfang used Cleave on Stormwind and it destroyed Draenor. * Saurfang's Sunder Armor is permanent. * High Overlord Saurfang is always In Combat. * When Saurfang drops the soap, he rapes everyone. * Saurfang is he that watches they. Which may or may not include Gamon, so he hides in the tavern. * Gamon hides in the inn because he questioned why saurfang was moonkin specced. * The Maelstrom is the result of Saurfang using Whirlwind on a ship. * Mankrik's wife made the mistake of telling Saurfang that Sword Spec was superior... * High Overlord Saurfang is currently suing The Lich King, claiming The Scourge was already the trademarked name for his teeth. * High Overlord Saurfang is so powerful he would get a Dishonorable Kill for slaying Nefarian... That's why he has you do it instead. * Items can't Soul-bind to Saurfang... He doesn't have one. * High Overlord Saurfang once got dared by Thrall to punch a wall in Orgrimmar. The impact created Ragefire Chasm. * Square Enix raised their 9999 damage damage cap just in case Saurfang raided Final Fantasy and used Mortal Strike. * High Overlord Saurfang decided that 9 months was too long... So he Charged his way out of the womb. * Blizzard won't let Heroes like Thrall wage wars because of their Quest obligations. High Overlord Saurfang is the exception... He can be in 2 places at once. * Saurfang vacations in Northrend. * A newbie once said "free food plz", so Saurfang ate his face and replied "Don't mind if I do." * Saurfang is Exalted with both the Bloodsail Buccaneers and Booty Bay at the same time. * A priest, a paladin, and Varimathras walk into a bar... So High Overlord Saurfang slaughtered them for treason. * Ninjas' real ultimate power is second-hand... Saurfang outgrew it. * High Overlord Saurfang demanded 6 hours of silence for meditation every week. The result of this is Tuesday Morning Downtime. * His tears cure newbism; It's too bad he removed the tear ducts from his eyes with a sawblade on a dare from Grom. Grom's reaction earned him the last name Hellscream. * Saurfang collects only the heads of dragons. He eats the rest. * The quickest way to a man's heart is Saurfang. * Arthas was actually the Lich King's second choice... Saurfang mocked his request. * Saurfang vendored Frostmourne. * High Overlord Saurfang can destroy any single monster or hero in World of Warcraft. * High Overlord Saurfang can pop Retaliation, Bestial Wrath, Mage Armor, Elemental Mastery and Moonkin Form all at once. Pretty impressive for a warrior. * When High Overlord Saurfang AFK's out of a Battle Ground, YOU get the deserter buff. * Saurfang was born a 7-time Mr. Olympia * Saurfang has dug to Lordaeron from the Barrens. * Rome was not built in a day, but it was destroyed by Saurfang in 5 minutes. * Once Saurfang used Hamstring on Wirt. This caused him to lose his leg(s). * Saurfang has 92 chromosomes and there all poisonous. * When Saurfang joined the Kalimdor traveling orchestra, to the day he left and right up to now there were only ever two songs that were played: "Symphony of Destruction" and "Symphony of Frost and Flame" * Saurfang is exalted with the Alliance, Horde, Scourge and Burning legion at the same time. * Just like Arthas, those who have fought Saurfang have died. But Saurfang serves no one except himself. * High Overlord Saurfangs demoralising shout is so demoralising it causes all to hear it to commit suicide. * Saurfang uses dark iron spears as toothpicks, felcloth as handkerchiefs, and mooncloth as toilet paper. * The Swamp of Sorrows was created by Saurfang crying for ten years because he lost Mr. Tinky. * If you were worth High Overlord Saurfang’s time, you would be dead before he got to you. Nobody can withstand the pressure and electricity of being sought after by him, so their brain implodes upon knowing. Even if it’s not true. * Ragnaros is Saurfang’s cigarette lighter. C’thun is his ash tray. * Saurfang as a child liked to build sandcastles, just like we do. But his still stand today, and are now known as Blackrock Mountain and Mount Hyjal. When he went to Northrend on his 9th birthday, he created Ice Crown glacier. * Vlad the Impaler, Ivan the Terrible, Count Dracula, Alexander the Great, Genghis Kahn, Joseph Stalin, Adolph Hitler, Satan, and the Grim Reaper are all Saurfang impersonators. * Saurfang is that powerful no woman could give birth to him, so he gave birth to himself. * "Hardcore" is a word to describe the flesh of Saurfang, no other word has been invented so strong or descriptive enough to describe what lies beneath all that hide. And to that nobody ever will. * If Saurfang could go back in time to fight himself, he’d win. He’s that damn good. * Saurfang once exchanged his soul to Archimonde for eternal power, and with that new power he defeated Archimonde in Mortal Kombat and took his soul back. Archimonde now realizes the irony of such a trade-off. Now Archimonde, Kil’ Jaeden, Manaroth, Tichondrius, The Lich King and Saurfang meet every Tuesday night for poker in a lavishly decorated games hall. * Saurfang has Tauren-sized semen. * The Friction of Saurfang whacking off would cause a forest fire equal to the destruction that would eviscerate Dreanor. To prevent history from repeating itself, he is given all the night elf women he desires. * Because Saurfang is so incredible he cannot have children. This level of awesomeness contained in a single world would make it sunder and collapse into itself. * In the beginning there was Saurfang. * In the dawn of time, before the evolution of the common species as we know them today, Saurfang existed. He populated the world that so much semen flooded the world, drowning half of it, and then winter came and froze it all over. This is known as the "Ice Age". * High Overlord Saurfang does not use Tabasco sauce, he uses molten lava, and if he wanted his dessert to be iced, he uses volcanic ash. * Killing, well, because he can...and if you ask him why, he'd kill you too, and your family. * The world revolves around Saurfang. * Saurfang can kill you, and then kill your spirit before it has time to ascend/descend to heaven/hell. * Archimonde is Saurfang’s imp. Mannoroth is Saurfang’s felhunter. Both failed to live up to his awesomeness. * We all live because Saurfang is not impressed with how we fight to the point where he does not bother with our pathetic ways, but those who get in his way shall truly learn the meaning of Torment. * The movie "Armageddon" was based on true events, though they have been changed according to what people see as "morals".....the meteor was actually one of Saurfang’s craps that penetrated into outer space. The rest is truth, except nobody could drill through the "meteor", which crashed into the planet, creating Dreanor as we know and see it today. * Once, when Saurfang one-man raided Ironforge, he thought it was too easy, and wanted to raid Stormwind instead. So he charged his way straight through the mountain. This created the tunnel, later utilized by the gnomes when they built the deeprun tram. * Anyone who comes within a 3 mile radius of High Overlord Saurfang and does not get murdered can call that "a close encounter". * If Saurfang can do it, that does not imply any or everyone else can. This is Saurfang we are talking about after all. * If you could count all the souls Saurfang has eaten, and foes he has slain, you would have reached infinity more than that amount of times. * The Second war of orcs and humans was only a chess game Saurfang was playing. There are two sides to a game of chess, and Saurfang can be at multiple places in the same moment, so he was playing against himself. Nobody knows who won; because Saurfang got tired of playing against Saurfang and started plotting the return of the burning legion…this was devised to add more immersive experience and a 3rd party to an otherwise boring game. * Saurfang can threaten the Homeworld. * The Horde would have gotten Saurfang to destroy Archimonde with one blow but they were too scared to wake him up. * Saurfang is a class of his own. * Blizzard once tried to nerf Saurfang but changed their mind after he murdered the programming team. * You know the Master's glaive in Darkshore? That wasn't a titan- it was Saurfang. * Saurfang doesn't appear to have a mount, look closer- everything on the planet is standing on it. * When Saurfang kills a player, they die.... permanently. * Saurfang holds the world record for gnome punting, three times round the Earth's circumference. * The world didn't fall apart after the Well of Eternity imploded because Saurfang is holding it together with his feet. * Saurfang can wipe a 40 man raid decked out in full epics just by staring at them menacingly. * Saurfang can one-man every raid boss in the game simultaneously with all his limbs tied behind his back, a blindfold, earplugs, and a mouth gag- all while unarmed. * In the upcoming Warcraft movie, Saurfang will be played by Chuck Norris. * When Suarfang reached level 10, he immediately joined the queue for Warsong Gulch. Before the queue ended he was level 63. * High Overlord Saurfang plays in the level 63 tier of Warsong Gulch. All of the other leaders got tired of losing, so now he only plays with himself, he always wins. * Saurfang has only farted once, this incident created the race of the Undead. * Saurfang counted to infinity... twice. * The Un'Goro crater was actually created when Saurfang tripped on a rock and fell. * He is so powerful that when he was 7, he had a wet dream which actually became real, this is now known as the 'Emerald Dream'. * The Titans left Azeroth because Saurfang told them to GTFO. * The reason C'Thun is in a weakened state is because Saurfang breathed on him briefly. * Saurfang has his own Reputation Bar, and he hates everyone. * The Gnomes once asked Saurfang what would happen if buttered toast was strapped to a Cat's back and the cat was dropped. Saurfang responded by throwing the cat in the air and cleaving it in half as it came down, one half landed on it's feet, the other on it's back thus proving that Saurfang is awesome. * The Alliance/Horde population imbalance is to compensate for Saurfang. * Saurfang's Hamstring hits for 6000 damage. * Saurfang can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. * Saurfang is the reason why Ragnaros is submerged. * Saurfang can mount and ride a zeppelin. * The reason they removed the teleporting from bay to bay was that Saurfang's molecular structure prohibits dissolution. All the people involved in all the teleportations died when he attempted. * Saurfang does more before 11 AM than we do in our entire lifetimes. * Saurfang once took a trip in The Barrens. As he sat down and his sweat ran - Thousand Needles was created. * The impregnable area Dalaran was created to keep some people alive in case Saurfang had a bad day. * Anyone can pee on the bathroom floor, but Saurfang can shit on the ceiling! * Saurfang has an alliance alt named Field Marshal Afrasiabi but he doesn't play with it alot. * Saurfang's Mortal Strike effect makes you lose 50% of your health when healed. * Saurfang can kill the Grimace. * The Sewer Beast fled to Stormwind because it was afraid of Saurfang. * Saurfang remembered The Forgotten One. * Saurfang tentacle-raped C'thun. * When water, as highly unlikely as it seems, lands on Saurfang - he doesn't get wet...the water gets Saurfang'd. * Silithus was the result of Saurfang's contagious tinia infection he developed after visiting the plaguelands. * Saurfang can shoot Firebolts at Ragnaros. * Saurfang doesn't use the zeppelin. Some say he walks, but no one really knows how he does it. * Onyxia thinks it's 'fruitious' when 40 people come in to kill her. But it isn't 'fruitious' when Saurfang walks in and stomps all over her crappy babies. *Saurfang doesn't use abilities to maim and kill people, only a macro that doesn't work as he intends (WoW doesn't have visual aids for skinning players for some reason). *Everyone does a /lol when Saurfang does a /silly. If you don't think his jokes are funny, then you're dead wrong. If you don't have your sound on, then you're just plain dead. If you're out of hearing range you're unlucky, because you just missed out on a damned funny joke. ---- Written originally by various members of the WoW forums. Transferred to here by Krusk of Skullcrusher. Category:Orcs Category:City:Orgrimmar Category:Silly